Respectful Language (尊敬語) in Japanese

Overview

Japanese has a sophisticated system of honorific language called 敬語 (keigo), and 尊敬語 (sonkeigo) is one of its three main branches. Sonkeigo -- respectful or honorific language -- is used to elevate the actions and status of someone you are speaking about, typically a social superior, customer, or someone you wish to show deference to. It is the linguistic equivalent of looking up at someone.

At CEFR B1, understanding sonkeigo becomes essential because you will encounter it everywhere in Japan -- in shops, offices, news broadcasts, and formal correspondence. While you may not need to produce it fluently yet, recognizing and understanding it is critical. Without sonkeigo literacy, you will struggle to follow formal conversations, workplace interactions, and service-industry Japanese.

Sonkeigo works by replacing ordinary verbs with special respectful forms or by applying a systematic grammatical pattern. Some verbs have entirely different respectful equivalents (like いらっしゃる for いる/行く/来る), while others use the pattern お + verb stem + になる. Both approaches accomplish the same goal: showing respect by linguistically elevating the other person's actions.

How It Works

Pattern 1: お/ご + Verb Stem + になる

This is the productive, systematic pattern that works with most verbs:

お + [verb stem] + になる

Plain verb	Respectful form	Meaning
読む (yomu)	お読みになる (oyomi ni naru)	read (respectful)
帰る (kaeru)	お帰りになる (okaeri ni naru)	go home (respectful)
書く (kaku)	お書きになる (okaki ni naru)	write (respectful)
待つ (matsu)	お待ちになる (omachi ni naru)	wait (respectful)
使う (tsukau)	お使いになる (otsukai ni naru)	use (respectful)

For verbs of Chinese origin (漢語), use ご instead of お:

Plain verb	Respectful form	Meaning
利用する (riyou suru)	ご利用になる (goriyou ni naru)	use (respectful)
確認する (kakunin suru)	ご確認になる (gokakunin ni naru)	confirm (respectful)

Note: This pattern does not work with one-syllable verb stems (like 見る or 寝る). Use special verbs or the passive form instead.

Pattern 2: Special Respectful Verbs

The most common verbs have dedicated respectful replacements that must simply be memorized:

Plain verb	Meaning	Respectful verb	Meaning (respectful)
いる (iru)	to be/exist	いらっしゃる (irassharu)	to be (respectful)
行く (iku)	to go	いらっしゃる (irassharu)	to go (respectful)
来る (kuru)	to come	いらっしゃる (irassharu)	to come (respectful)
言う (iu)	to say	おっしゃる (ossharu)	to say (respectful)
見る (miru)	to look/watch	ご覧になる (goran ni naru)	to look (respectful)
食べる (taberu)	to eat	召し上がる (meshiagaru)	to eat (respectful)
飲む (nomu)	to drink	召し上がる (meshiagaru)	to drink (respectful)
する (suru)	to do	なさる (nasaru)	to do (respectful)
知る (shiru)	to know	ご存じ (gozonji)	to know (respectful)
くれる (kureru)	to give (to me)	くださる (kudasaru)	to give (respectful)

Pattern 3: Passive Form as Respect

The passive form (～れる/～られる) can also express respect, and is common in news and formal speech:

Plain	Passive/Respectful	Meaning
話す (hanasu)	話される (hanasareru)	speak (respectful)
来る (kuru)	来られる (korareru)	come (respectful)
読む (yomu)	読まれる (yomareru)	read (respectful)

This is less formal than the special verbs or the お...になる pattern, but is widely used.

Conjugation of Special Verbs

Special respectful verbs conjugate in ます-form for polite speech:

Dictionary form	ます-form	Past	Negative
いらっしゃる	いらっしゃいます	いらっしゃいました	いらっしゃいません
おっしゃる	おっしゃいます	おっしゃいました	おっしゃいません
ご覧になる	ご覧になります	ご覧になりました	ご覧になりません
召し上がる	召し上がります	召し上がりました	召し上がりません
なさる	なさいます	なさいました	なさいません

When to Use Sonkeigo

Context	Use sonkeigo for
Workplace	Boss, senior colleagues, clients
Customer service	Customers (always)
Formal events	Speakers, guests of honor
Speaking about	Teachers, elders, unfamiliar adults

Never use sonkeigo for your own actions -- that is what 謙譲語 (humble language) is for.

Examples in Context

Japanese	English	Note
社長はお帰りになりました。	The president has gone home.	お + stem + になる
何をご覧になりますか？	What will you watch?	Special verb ご覧になる
どうぞお召し上がりください。	Please eat. (respectful)	召し上がる + ください
先生はどこにいらっしゃいますか？	Where is the teacher?	いらっしゃる for いる
部長はもうお読みになりましたか？	Has the manager already read it?	お + stem + になる
お客様がいらっしゃいました。	A customer has arrived.	いらっしゃる for 来る
先生がおっしゃいました。	The teacher said.	Special verb おっしゃる
こちらをご利用になりますか？	Will you use this?	ご + 漢語 + になる
山田様はご存じですか？	Does Mr. Yamada know?	Special form ご存じ
社長は何となさいますか？	What will the president do?	Special verb なさる
お客様がお待ちになっています。	The customer is waiting.	お + stem + になる (progressive)
どうぞお座りになってください。	Please have a seat.	Polite invitation

Common Mistakes

Using sonkeigo for your own actions

• Wrong: 私はお帰りになりました。
• Right: 私は帰りました。 (or humble: 私は失礼いたしました。)
• Why: Sonkeigo elevates someone else's actions. Using it for yourself sounds either confused or arrogant. Use plain or humble forms for your own actions.

Mixing up いらっしゃる contexts

• Wrong: Using いらっしゃる when the subject is ambiguous.
• Right: Make the subject clear: 先生はいらっしゃいますか？
• Why: Since いらっしゃる can mean "to be," "to go," or "to come," context must be clear to avoid confusion.

Double honorifics

• Wrong: お召し上がりになってください。
• Right: 召し上がってください。 or お食べになってください。
• Why: 召し上がる is already a respectful verb. Adding お...になる creates a double honorific, which is grammatically excessive. Use either the special verb or the pattern, not both.

Using sonkeigo in casual situations

• Wrong: Using いらっしゃる with close friends.
• Right: Use plain forms with friends and family.
• Why: Sonkeigo creates social distance. Using it with close friends or family members sounds cold, sarcastic, or like you are joking. Reserve it for appropriate formal contexts.

Applying お...になる to one-syllable stems

• Wrong: お見になる (for 見る)
• Right: ご覧になる
• Why: The お...になる pattern does not work well with very short verb stems. Use the special respectful verb instead.

Usage Notes

Sonkeigo is one of three branches of keigo (敬語). The other two are 謙譲語 (kenjougo -- humble language, used for your own actions) and 丁寧語 (teineigo -- polite language, the です/ます forms you already know). In practice, sonkeigo and kenjougo often appear together in the same conversation: you elevate the other person's actions with sonkeigo while lowering your own with kenjougo.

The level of sonkeigo expected varies by situation. Customer service uses it heavily and consistently. Office environments use it for bosses and clients but may relax among peers. Written communications (emails, letters) tend to use more sonkeigo than spoken conversations. Regional variation is minimal for sonkeigo itself, though the overall frequency of keigo use can differ between, say, Osaka (more casual) and Tokyo (more formal) workplace cultures.

Young Japanese speakers sometimes struggle with sonkeigo themselves, and mistakes by non-native speakers are generally forgiven. However, making an effort to use it appropriately -- especially in business or service contexts -- is noticed and appreciated.

Practice Tips

• Start with recognition, not production. Listen for いらっしゃいます, おっしゃいます, and ご覧になります in Japanese media, especially news, dramas set in offices, and customer service interactions. Understanding these forms when you hear them is the first milestone.

• Memorize the five most common special verbs. Focus on いらっしゃる, おっしゃる, ご覧になる, 召し上がる, and なさる. These cover the majority of respectful language you will encounter daily.

• Practice converting sentences. Take a plain sentence like 先生は本を読みました and convert it: 先生は本をお読みになりました. Do this drill with different verbs to internalize the お...になる pattern.

Related Concepts

• Prerequisite: Honorific Language Introduction -- provides the foundational overview of the keigo system before diving into sonkeigo specifically