Giving/Receiving Favors てあげる/くれる/もらう in Japanese

Overview

Building on the giving and receiving verbs (あげる, くれる, もらう), Japanese extends this system to actions and favors by combining the て-form with these verbs. Instead of giving physical objects, you are now giving or receiving the favor of doing something. This is one of the most culturally significant grammar patterns in Japanese, as it explicitly encodes social awareness and gratitude into the language.

At the A2 level, mastering てあげる, てくれる, and てもらう dramatically expands your ability to describe social interactions. You can express "I did something for someone," "someone did something for me," and "I had someone do something" — all with the appropriate social nuance baked in.

How It Works

The three patterns

Pattern	Meaning	Direction
て-form + あげる	Do something for someone (outward)	I/in-group → other
て-form + くれる	Someone does something for me (inward)	Other → me/in-group
て-form + もらう	Have someone do something (receiving benefit)	Me ← other

Sentence structures

Pattern	Structure	Example
てあげる	[doer] が [beneficiary] に verb てあげる	友達に料理を作ってあげた
てくれる	[doer] が (私に) verb てくれる	母が弁当を作ってくれた
てもらう	[beneficiary] が [doer] に verb てもらう	先生に説明してもらった

Choosing the right pattern

Situation	Pattern	Nuance
I help my friend	てあげる	I do a favor (outward)
My friend helps me	てくれる	I'm grateful for the favor (inward)
I ask a teacher to explain	てもらう	I receive the benefit of their action

Examples in Context

Japanese	English	Note
友達に料理を作ってあげました。	I cooked for my friend.	Doing a favor outward
母が弁当を作ってくれました。	My mother made me a lunch.	Favor toward me
先生に説明してもらいました。	I had the teacher explain it.	Receiving a favor
写真を撮ってくれませんか？	Would you take a photo for me?	Polite request (くれる)
妹に宿題を教えてあげました。	I helped my sister with her homework.	Outward favor
友達が空港まで送ってくれました。	My friend drove me to the airport.	Grateful for favor
医者に診てもらいました。	I had the doctor examine me.	Professional service
荷物を持ってあげましょうか？	Shall I carry your bag for you?	Offering help
彼が日本語を教えてくれています。	He is teaching me Japanese.	Ongoing favor
友達に手伝ってもらった。	I had my friend help me.	Casual receiving

Common Mistakes

Using てあげる for things done for you

• Wrong: 母が弁当を作ってあげました。 (about your own mother making you lunch)
• Right: 母が弁当を作ってくれました。
• Why: When someone does something that benefits you, use てくれる. てあげる is for when you do something for someone else.

Overusing てあげる (sounding condescending)

• Wrong: 先生に教えてあげましょうか？ (offering to teach your teacher)
• Right: Use with equals or those younger/lower in status
• Why: てあげる can sound condescending if used toward superiors, as it implies you are bestowing a favor from above. Be careful about who you offer てあげる to.

Confusing particles with てもらう

• Wrong: 先生が説明してもらいました。
• Right: 先生に説明してもらいました。
• Why: With てもらう, the person who does the action (the giver of the favor) is marked with に, not が. The beneficiary (receiver) is the subject.

Not using these patterns when appropriate

• Wrong: 友達が空港まで送りました。 (missing the social nuance)
• Right: 友達が空港まで送ってくれました。
• Why: Without くれる, the sentence sounds like a neutral report. Adding くれる expresses that the action was done as a favor to you, which is the natural way to describe such situations in Japanese.

Usage Notes

てくれる is extremely common in everyday Japanese. Native speakers automatically add it whenever someone does something beneficial for them. Omitting it can make you sound cold or unappreciative. When in doubt, if someone did something nice for you, describe it with てくれる.

てもらう is the standard way to describe receiving professional services: 医者に診てもらう (have a doctor examine you), 美容師に髪を切ってもらう (have a hairdresser cut your hair).

For polite requests, てくれませんか and てもらえませんか are very natural: 手伝ってくれませんか？(Would you help me?), 説明してもらえませんか？(Could you explain it?).

Practice Tips

• Describe three favors you did for others this week (てあげる) and three favors others did for you (てくれる). This builds awareness of the directional system.
• Practice making polite requests using てくれませんか: 窓を開けてくれませんか？ (Would you open the window?), ここに名前を書いてくれませんか？ (Would you write your name here?).
• Think about professional services you use and describe them with てもらう: 歯医者に歯を見てもらった (I had the dentist check my teeth).

Related Concepts

• Prerequisite: Giving and Receiving — the base giving/receiving verb system