Reflexive Verbs in the Past in French

In Brief

In the passé composé, every reflexive verb uses être: je me suis levé(e), elle s'est habillée, nous nous sommes amusé(e)s. The reflexive pronoun stays before the auxiliary, and the past participle usually agrees with the subject. For now, learn that basic pattern first; later, refine it for sentences such as Elle s'est lavé les mains and Ils se sont parlé.

Overview

A reflexive verb is used with a pronoun that refers back to the subject: me, te, se, nous, vous, or se. French calls these verbes pronominaux. Some describe an action done to oneself, as in se laver (“to wash oneself”), while others simply have to be learned in this form, such as se souvenir de (“to remember”). English often leaves the “self” idea unstated: Je me suis réveillé means simply “I woke up.”

At A2, this pattern lets you describe completed past events: getting up, getting dressed, meeting someone, enjoying yourself, or going to bed. You form it with the passé composé, a compound tense (a tense built from a helper verb and a past participle). The past participle is the form such as levé, fini, or vendu.

The essential contrast is simple: many non-reflexive verbs use avoir—j'ai préparé le dîner—but reflexive verbs always use être—je me suis préparé(e). English speakers should therefore learn the pronoun as part of the French verb: not just réveiller, but se réveiller.

How It Works

The basic formula

Use this order:

subject + reflexive pronoun + present tense of être + past participle

For example:

Elle + s' + est + habillée.

The apostrophe appears before a vowel or silent h: me becomes m', te becomes t', and se becomes s'. Thus, je me suis levé but je me suis habillé; elle s'est levée but elle s'est amusée.

Subject	Reflexive pronoun	Être	Example with se lever
je	me / m'	suis	je me suis levé(e)
tu	te / t'	es	tu t'es levé(e)
il / elle / on	se / s'	est	il s'est levé / elle s'est levée / on s'est levé(s)
nous	nous	sommes	nous nous sommes levé(e)s
vous	vous	êtes	vous vous êtes levé(e)(s)
ils / elles	se / s'	sont	ils se sont levés / elles se sont levées

The two occurrences of nous or vous have different jobs: the first is the subject (“we” or “you”), and the second is the reflexive pronoun. Do not remove either one.

Forming the past participle

The past participle is formed in the usual way. Common regular endings are:

Infinitive	Typical change	Example
-er	-é	se coucher → couché
-ir verbs like finir	-i	s'évanouir → évanoui
many -re verbs	-u	se perdre → perdu

Some common verbs have irregular participles: se souvenir → souvenu, s'asseoir → assis, and se mettre → mis. The reflexive pattern does not change those forms: Elle s'est souvenue, Ils se sont assis, Je me suis mis(e) au travail.

The beginner agreement rule

Agreement means changing the ending to match gender and number. As a reliable first rule, make the participle agree with the subject:

Subject represented	Ending	Example
masculine singular	no added ending	Il s'est réveillé.
feminine singular	-e	Elle s'est réveillée.
masculine or mixed plural	-s	Ils se sont réveillés.
feminine plural	-es	Elles se sont réveillées.

For je, tu, nous, and vous, the written ending depends on who those pronouns represent. A woman writes Je me suis levée; a man writes Je me suis levé. A group of women says Nous nous sommes levées. In speech, these endings are usually silent, but they matter in writing.

Parentheses such as levé(e) are useful in a grammar note because the speaker is unknown. In a real sentence about a known person, choose one form rather than writing parentheses.

Negatives and questions

In a standard negative sentence, ne ... pas surrounds the reflexive pronoun and the auxiliary:

• Je ne me suis pas couché tard. — I did not go to bed late.
• Elle ne s'est pas trompée. — She was not mistaken.
• Nous ne nous sommes jamais rencontrés. — We have never met.

In everyday speech, ne is often dropped: Je me suis pas couché tard. This is common conversational French, but retain ne in careful writing.

Questions keep the pronoun next to the auxiliary:

• Tu t'es bien amusé(e) ? — Did you have a good time?
• Est-ce qu'elle s'est réveillée ? — Did she wake up?
• Vous vous êtes rencontrés où ? — Where did you meet?

Examples in Context

The following examples include truly reflexive actions, daily-routine verbs, and reciprocal actions (actions people do to one another).

French	English	Note
Je me suis réveillé(e) tôt.	I woke up early.	Choose -é or -ée for the speaker.
Elle s'est habillée vite.	She got dressed quickly.	Feminine singular agreement.
Nous nous sommes amusé(e)s à la fête.	We had fun at the party.	The ending reflects the members of the group.
Ils se sont rencontrés hier.	They met yesterday.	Reciprocal action; agreement applies.
Lina s'est levée à sept heures.	Lina got up at seven.	Levée agrees with Lina.
Marc et Léo se sont couchés après minuit.	Marc and Léo went to bed after midnight.	Masculine plural -és.
Mes sœurs se sont préparées rapidement.	My sisters got ready quickly.	Feminine plural -ées.
Tu t'es souvenu(e) de son adresse ?	Did you remember their address?	Se souvenir de keeps de.
On s'est promenés au bord de la rivière.	We took a walk by the river.	With conversational on meaning “we,” plural agreement is common.
Je ne me suis pas trompé(e) de train.	I did not get on the wrong train.	Negation surrounds me suis.
Vous vous êtes assis près de la fenêtre.	You sat down near the window.	Irregular participle assis.
Elles se sont vues devant le cinéma.	They saw each other outside the cinema.	Se is the direct object, so vues agrees.
Ils se sont parlé pendant une heure.	They talked to each other for an hour.	No agreement: parler à quelqu'un.
Nora s'est lavé les mains.	Nora washed her hands.	No agreement with Nora because les mains is the direct object.
Les mains qu'elle s'est lavées étaient froides.	The hands that she washed were cold.	Advanced: preceding direct object les mains triggers agreement.

Common Mistakes

Using avoir because English says “have”

• Wrong: J'ai me réveillé tôt.
• Right: Je me suis réveillé(e) tôt.
• Why: A reflexive verb always takes être in the passé composé. English “I have woken up” does not predict the French auxiliary.

Putting the reflexive pronoun after the auxiliary

• Wrong: Elle est se couchée.
• Right: Elle s'est couchée.
• Why: The reflexive pronoun comes immediately before the conjugated auxiliary: s'est, not est se.

Forgetting written agreement in the basic pattern

• Wrong: Elles se sont levé.
• Right: Elles se sont levées.
• Why: Here se represents the people who got themselves up, so the participle is feminine plural. The final letters may be silent, but they are required in writing.

Writing an agreement ending when a body part follows

• Wrong: Elle s'est lavée les cheveux.
• Right: Elle s'est lavé les cheveux.
• Why: Les cheveux is what she washed—the direct object (the person or thing directly affected by the action). The pronoun se has an indirect role, roughly “for herself,” so lavé does not agree with elle.

Making reciprocal verbs agree automatically

• Wrong: Ils se sont téléphonés.
• Right: Ils se sont téléphoné.
• Why: French says téléphoner à quelqu'un. The people called to one another, so se is an indirect object and does not trigger agreement. Compare Ils se sont vus, from voir quelqu'un, where agreement is required.

Dropping the second nous or vous

• Wrong: Nous sommes amusés.
• Right: Nous nous sommes amusés.
• Why: The first nous is the subject; the second belongs to s'amuser. Without it, the verb is no longer in its reflexive form.

Usage Notes

French uses reflexive verbs in many places where English uses no reflexive word. Daily routines are the clearest examples: “She got dressed” is Elle s'est habillée, not a word-for-word copy of the English structure. Learn these as complete entries: se lever, se dépêcher, se reposer, s'endormir.

Some verbs change meaning when the reflexive pronoun is added. Rencontrer quelqu'un means “to meet someone,” while se rencontrer means “to meet one another” or, depending on context, “to come together.” Passer can mean “to pass” or “to spend,” while se passer often means “to happen”: Que s'est-il passé ? (“What happened?”). The auxiliary follows the form actually used: J'ai rencontré Paul, but Nous nous sommes rencontrés.

On deserves special attention. Grammatically it takes singular est: on s'est... When it means an indefinite “someone/people,” singular agreement is natural: On s'est souvent demandé pourquoi. When it informally replaces nous, writing may reflect the real group: On s'est bien amusés for a mixed group, or On s'est bien amusées for a group of women. Usage varies by context and editorial style.

Beyond the Basics: Precise Agreement

You do not need to master this entire section when first learning the A2 pattern. The safe first step is to form the tense correctly with être and use agreement in straightforward examples. The more exact rule becomes important in careful writing.

Despite the use of être, agreement for reflexive verbs is determined much like agreement with a preceding direct object. Ask what role the reflexive pronoun has:

1. If me, te, se, nous, or vous is the direct object, the participle agrees with it. Elle s'est regardée dans le miroir. She looked at herself. The verb is regarder quelqu'un, with no à.

2. If the reflexive pronoun is indirect, it does not trigger agreement. Ils se sont parlé. The construction is parler à quelqu'un. Other frequent examples include se téléphoner, se sourire, se mentir, and se plaire.

3. If a direct object follows the participle, there is normally no agreement with that object. Elle s'est lavé les mains. The hands are what was washed; se is indirect.

4. If that direct object moves before the participle, the participle agrees with it. Les mains qu'elle s'est lavées. Here que stands for the feminine plural noun les mains and appears before lavées.

French	English	Agreement test
Ils se sont regardés.	They looked at each other.	Regarder quelqu'un: direct, so agreement.
Ils se sont souri.	They smiled at each other.	Sourire à quelqu'un: indirect, no agreement.
Elle s'est coupée.	She cut herself.	Se is the direct object; feminine agreement.
Elle s'est coupé le doigt.	She cut her finger.	Le doigt follows as the direct object; no agreement.
La robe qu'elle s'est achetée est bleue.	The dress she bought herself is blue.	Preceding direct object la robe; feminine agreement.

Some verbs are called essentially pronominal, meaning they are normally or only used with the reflexive-looking pronoun in that meaning. With verbs such as s'enfuir (“to run away”) and s'évanouir (“to faint”), the participle agrees with the subject: Elles se sont enfuies; Elle s'est évanouie. There is no useful “herself” translation to recover—the pronoun is simply part of the verb.

Past infinitives preserve the same structure after expressions such as après: Après s'être levée, elle a ouvert les rideaux (“After getting up, she opened the curtains”). The pronoun changes to match the understood subject, and agreement still follows the relevant rule. This construction is useful later, but it is not needed for basic A2 narration.

Practice Tips

1. Build a routine timeline. Write six things you did yesterday with se réveiller, se lever, se laver, s'habiller, se dépêcher, and se coucher. Check that every form has a subject, a reflexive pronoun, être, and a participle.
2. Mark agreement visually. Underline the person or object that controls agreement, then circle the ending in levée, amusés, or vues. For body-part sentences and verbs with à, write “no agreement” beside the unchanged participle.
3. Learn verbs with their construction. Record voir quelqu'un beside se voir, but parler à quelqu'un beside se parler. This small habit makes advanced agreement much easier than memorising isolated exceptions.

Related Concepts

• Prerequisite: Passé Composé with Être — review the forms of être and basic past-participle agreement before adding reflexive pronouns.